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16 Reasons Why Facts Are For Losers – Reason #14 Formulating the Plan

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A classic 1940s film noir-style detective squad room, dimly lit by a single overhead lamp. Desks made of dark, worn wood are scattered with papers, old telephones, and half-filled coffee cups.
Shadows of Mystery. Image created by ChatGPT.

As the last rays of sunlight attempted to sneak through the blinds of Noble Headquarters, Jane Sharp and Leo Justice sat across from each other in a room that somehow always felt like a film noir set. It was the kind of room where decisions were made, consequences were ignored, and terrible coffee was consumed in excess.

Jane exhaled, running her fingers through her hair as if that might help untangle the mess of a situation they were in. “So, what’s the plan, Leo? We can’t just waltz into Victor Van Spin’s lair with guns blazing. He’s got more lives than Neo and The Terminator put together.”

Leo, who was decidedly more comfortable with tech than with metaphors, adjusted his glasses and grinned. “I was thinking we could do the next best thing—build a highly sophisticated algorithm to mess with his mind and make his followers question his every move. We’ll turn him from a demagogue into a demogorgon in no time.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “You want to use an algorithm to make people think Victor’s ideas are as credible as an email from a Nigerian prince? That’s… actually, that’s genius. But what’s the catch?”

Leo leaned back, crossing his arms with a look that suggested he’d just cracked the code to eternal youth. “The catch is that we need to avoid turning him into a martyr. We want his followers to think, ‘Maybe this guy isn’t the savior of humanity; maybe he’s just another snake oil salesman with a fancy PowerPoint.’ We don’t want them rallying around his tragic downfall. We want them unfollowing him faster than a celebrity endorsing a spam and apple cider vinegar diet.”

Jane nodded, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Right, so we need to sow seeds of doubt. But how do we do that without being as obvious as a neon sign in the desert at midnight?”

Leo pulled out his laptop, which glowed with the mysterious light that only tech wizards and late-night gamers seem to understand. “This is where my trusty algorithm comes in. It’ll identify the ‘influenceables’—you know, the people who are just on the verge of questioning their life choices, like those who still wear Crocs but aren’t entirely sure why.”

“Ah, the undecideds of the digital age,” Jane quipped, leaning in. “And how exactly do we nudge these fence-sitters off the fence?”

“We’ll hit them with targeted information,” Leo explained, tapping away at his keyboard. “Strategic leaks, carefully timed articles—nothing too overt. Just enough to make them say, ‘Hmm, maybe Victor isn’t the next messiah after all.’ We’ll start with Izzy-O. Her writing style is subtle but packs a punch.”

Jane chuckled, her spirits lifting slightly at the thought. “Perfect. We get Izzy-O on board, and she starts publishing pieces that make Victor look less like a leader and more like a ship without a captain. But we have to be careful. If Victor catches wind of this…”

Leo grinned mischievously. “We’ll keep him guessing. After all, we’re not just playing chess here—we’re playing 4D intergalactic space chess with a side of espionage. One wrong move, and he’ll be chasing his tail trying to figure out what’s real and what’s just another deep fake.”

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t have an algorithm of his own,” Jane muttered, though she couldn’t suppress a smile. “But seriously, we can’t meet here anymore. I can feel the surveillance on the back of my neck.”

Leo nodded, closing his laptop with a flourish. “Agreed. We’ll take our meetings elsewhere. Somewhere safe.”

They spent the next hour fine-tuning their plan, throwing around ideas like they were brainstorming for the next big heist movie. The plan was audacious, bordering on ridiculous, but if it worked, it would be legendary. And if it didn’t… well, they’d cross that bridge when they were being chased across it.

As they wrapped up, Jane stood and stretched, glancing at Leo with a hint of mischief in her eyes. “So, what do we call this grand operation? ‘Project Make Victor Look Like a Fool’? ‘Operation Oh, No You Didn’t’? Or my personal favorite, ‘Mission: Impossible—But, Like, Totally Possible’?”

Leo laughed, shaking his head. “How about we just keep it simple and call it ‘Plan B’? Because, you know, Plan A is just too predictable.”

With that, they left the room, the excitement of their ridiculous yet brilliant plan buzzing in the air. They were about to dive headfirst into the world of digital manipulation, and for better or worse, it was going to be one hell of a ride.