Picture this: a plush leather armchair.
A dimly lit boardroom.
Three billionaires sit around, sipping outrageously expensive single malt whiskey while debating which one of them has pulled off the most entertainingly despicable act of the week.
Is it the guy who patented air and charges you for breathing? Or the gal who bulldozed a rainforest to build a crocodile-shaped infinity pool?
Sounds wild?
Well, welcome to the pitch for the next hit TV show: “Billionaires Behaving Badly”.
Think of it as Shark Tank meets Succession, but with more yachts, private islands, and moral implosions.
Episode 1: The Race to “Fun” Destruction
Synopsis: Each billionaire is tasked with “innovating” a new way to inconvenience the world. One decides to monetize rainfall (umbrella subscriptions, anyone?), another invents a way to charge people for sitting in public parks, and the third just buys the moon, slaps a logo on it, and calls it “progress.”
The kicker?
All of this happens while they maintain a PR campaign claiming it’s “for the greater good.” The public eats it up, because hey, “they’re creating jobs!”
Step 1: The Art of Being Too Rich to Fail
In this fictional universe (and perhaps our own), billionaires know one thing: if you’re rich enough, no one really cares what you do. “I bulldozed a sanctuary for rare birds,” says one. “But I also donated $10,000 to an animal rescue organization, so we’re good, right?” Cue the audience laugh track.
Step 2: Keep the Public Smiling (or at Least Distracted)
What’s a little wage theft if you also throw an extravagant charity gala and auction off NFTs of your dog? Billionaires Behaving Badly isn’t just a show—it’s an ongoing masterclass in misdirection.
Each billionaire competes to come up with the most absurd but effective PR stunt to keep their skeletons firmly locked in their gold-plated closets.
In Episode 3, one billionaire goes viral by literally giving away free gold bars… only for everyone to later discover the bars melt into a sticky, trademarked goo that destroys countertops. “It’s a feature, not a bug,” they argue.
Step 3: The ‘It’s Not My Fault’ Defense
Ah, the beauty of blame-shifting. When cornered, our beloved billionaire antiheroes launch into a defense straight from the PR playbook:
“It was my assistant!”
“I’m just a visionary—how could I predict people would get upset about losing potable water?”
“This is all *society’s* fault for expecting so much from me.”
Viewers howl as one billionaire tearfully claims their private jet emissions are an act of philanthropy because “they bring awareness to global warming.”
A Spin-off Drama: Keeping the People Happy
What if the sitcom evolves into a drama? The billionaires start sabotaging each other while trying to keep their voting public blissfully ignorant.
One starts a media empire to discredit the others, running exposés about how they only donate half their wealth to charity. Another leaks an unflattering photo of a rival’s yacht that’s only 200 feet long.
Scandalous!
Behind the scenes, they pull every trick to maintain their status:
Fake humility tours (“I’m just a regular billionaire who buys $800 bread!”).
Charitable foundations that spend more on galas than actual causes.
The occasional tearful apology video with suspiciously high production values.
When Can We Greenlight This!
This show could work because it’s not far from reality. Billionaires Behaving Badly would be hilarious, horrifying, and, let’s face it, painfully relatable.
So, while the rich continue to dazzle us with their audacity, let’s at least get some entertainment out of it. Who knows? Maybe they’ll actually start competing for “Most Entertaining and Lovable Villain” on TV.
After all, isn’t that what they’re doing already?
Billionaires Behaving Badly premiering right around January 20th!
