Ah, the holiday party. A place where festive lights twinkle, awkward small talk flows like mulled wine, and debates about “ the left hates this or the right is taking over that” spark faster than the fireplace.
But don’t worry—armed with the wisdom of media personalities (who clearly know everything about everyone), you’ll be the life of the party… or at least the sarcastic observer rolling your eyes into your eggnog.
Step 1: Trust the Experts (Who Barely Know Anyone Either)
Studies show that most people have 5 to 15 people in their close circle—the ones they trust and communicate with frequently. That’s you, me, and probably everyone at your holiday gathering. So, let’s think about this for a second.
If you know only a handful of people well enough to have meaningful conversations, the same likely applies to the media personalities you see on TV. Their world of trusted relationships is about as small as yours. Which begs the question:
When they boldly declare, “All liberals think this!” or “Every conservative believes that!” How many actual liberals or conservatives do they know?
Spoiler alert: Probably none, or at best, a dozen filtered through their echo chamber. Yet, here they are, pretending to be omniscient prophets of political ideology.
Step 2: Apply Media Logic to Your Holiday Party
Here’s how you can bring this absurdity into your own festive gathering:
Meet someone new? Instantly decide they represent their entire political group, even if you’ve known them for 30 seconds. If the media can do it, so can you!
Is Aunt Sue eating kale? Liberal.
Uncle Bob brought venison jerky? Conservative.
Cousin Jenny is sipping kombucha? Definitely one of those “new age progressives” who wants everyone to live off-grid in yurts.
Is this approach accurate?
Not at all!
But hey, why let accuracy ruin a good narrative?
Step 3: The Grand Generalization Game
Since the media thrives on broad statements, try this game at the party:
“Every liberal supports banning Christmas trees!”
“All conservatives want tax cuts for Santa Claus!”
Bonus points if you deliver these lines with the authority of a pundit on primetime news. If challenged, just raise your drink, mutter something about “research,” and walk away.
Step 4: Consider the Math of Knowing People
Remember, most of us genuinely know fewer than 200 people well enough to have regular conversations.
That includes media personalities, who probably have fewer meaningful connections than their Twitter follower count suggests.
So when someone insists they know what “all” liberals or conservatives think, ask yourself:
“How many people do they actually know well enough to say that?”
“Are they just repeating things their own small circle says?”
Hint: Yes. Yes, they are.
Step 5: The Reality Check
The truth is, your Aunt Linda or Uncle Bob’s opinion about the world is just as limited as yours.
The loudest voices in the media?
No different.
Their sweeping claims about millions of people are just hot air, designed to stir up emotion and sell ads.
So why not focus on the important stuff, like who brought the best pie?
This holiday season, ditch the media-inspired game of stereotyping strangers.
Instead, embrace the awkward, honest reality of not knowing much about most people.
Start a real conversation! Instead of A Christmas Story playing for 24 hours straight, why not put Trading Places or Iron Man 3 on a loop?
They happen at Christmas time.
Okay, I guess you could just ask someone about their favorite dessert
And the next time someone at the party starts spouting about “all liberals” or “every conservative,” remind them:
If you truly know only 5 to 15 people, and the people in the media are human beings just like you and me, then they likely know about the same number. So really, nobody knows much of anything.
So, let’s argue about something we can all relate to—like whether eggnog should be served warm or cold. (Sorry didn’t mean to start that debate)
Because if there’s one thing we can agree on, it’s that nobody at this party really knows what they’re talking about—including you, me, and definitely the guy on TV.
Unless, of course, we’re debating whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie—because it absolutely is, and that’s not up for discussion!
