Have you reached that place where the next time you hear words like election, candidate, or rally you’ll need to check into rehab?
Well, instead of a self-imposed intervention, how about finding a good hiding spot where those words are mere whispers on the wind?
Here are five excellent (and gloriously oddball) places to hide out until this whole election thing blows over:
The Bermuda Triangle
Sure, it’s a bit risky, but no one’s going to ask for your voting preferences there. You might even find a nice little tropical island to call home or, at the very least, have plenty of time to think about literally anything else.
Under Your Netflix Watchlist
Escape into the endless, comforting void of “Recommended for You.” There are series buried in there from 2017 that you haven’t finished, and no one’s ever come out of a deep Netflix binge with time to even consider voting stats.
That Weird Fourth Floor of IKEA
It doesn’t officially exist, but if you’re lucky enough to stumble into it, Swedish meatballs and blissful anonymity await. As long as you can dodge the exit arrows, it’s a cozy place to ride things out.
Witness Protection Program for Cynics
This elusive program offers sanctuary to anyone who’s renounced electoral predictions and swing-state analyses for life. After all, who’s going to ask your opinion on early voting if you don’t even technically “exist”?
The “Things We All Forgot” Bin
Nestle into that mystical place where lost memories gather—right next to New Year’s resolutions, Blockbuster rental cards, and decent airplane food. Not only is it quiet here, but your stress might finally get to sit back, relax, and enjoy the sweet sound of “absolutely nothing.”
So grab a snack, settle in, and let this election season breeze past while you’re safely tucked away in your carefully selected hideout. Hey, sometimes the best intervention is no intervention at all.
