🎯 The “Talented” People Who Are Famous for Being Famous: And the Devoted Geniuses Who Keep Them There – Sandy & Polly #14
Satire Disclaimer
The following is a work of satire intended to parody modern celebrity culture, influencer obsession, and the inexplicable devotion to people whose main achievement is existing in high resolution.
If you’ve ever followed one of the famous for being famous people online because they “look like they’d be fun to have brunch with,” this one’s for you.
Polly: If fame were an Olympic sport, half of Instagram would be disqualified for performance-enhancing ring lights.
Sandy: And the other half would be banned for not actually competing — just showing up, waving to the camera, and collecting endorsement deals.
Polly: Following celebrities who are famous for being famous is like watching someone else scroll through their own vacation photos.
Sandy: Or as smart as microwaving a fork.
Polly: I guess it is a better decision than putting your Social Security number on a billboard. But only slightly better.
Sandy: If I remember correctly I was once stuck in the self-checkout line behind a guy with a basket full of groceries and one arm in a sling and that seemed like it was more fun then following someone who was famous for being famous.
Polly: I think someday I might try doing some field research and wear a meat suit to a dog park just to see if that’s more fun too.
Sandy: You’ve inspired me. I think one day I might try cutting my own bangs at 2 a.m. after three glasses of wine. Recording the whole thing for my followers, of course — to give it that influencer absurdity layer.
Polly: That does sound more exciting then following someone who is famous for being famous. While you’re doing that I’ll be over here debating politics with a chatbot.
Nelly (enters, smirking): Oh, don’t hold back, ladies. Tell us how you really feel about the famous for being famous.
Sandy: I would, but I don’t think the internet’s servers could handle that much truth without catching fire.
Polly: Yeah, and the last time Sandy went off, three influencers filed for emotional support goats.
The Professor: Actually, your… spirited discussion about the famous for being famous ties in perfectly with our latest research.
Nelly: We’ve just completed a groundbreaking, peer-reviewed* study on this phenomenon.
*(Peer-reviewed in this case means The Professor read it twice and Nelly nodded along.)
The Professor: We call it The Modern Fame Feedback Loop: How to Become Famous for being Famous.
Nelly: According to our findings, the famous for being famous cycle runs on three key factors: algorithmic luck, performative relatability, and — most critically — the audience’s chronic boredom.
The Professor: And as part of our research, we’ve developed a new cultural glossary to help identify, label, and mock these individuals more efficiently.
The Glossary of Inflated Self-Importance
(From the groundbreaking fake journal “Studies in Digital Vapidity,” Vol. 1)
Flarification (flair + amplification): When your personal brand and cryptic Instagram captions have been algorithmically magnified to the point of a glow visible from low orbit.
Viralsphere (viral + stratosphere): The rarefied height of internet fame, usually lasting three hours.
Flexposure (flex + exposure): Fame earned primarily by showing off things “borrowed” from someone richer.
Glowmentum (glow-up + momentum): Relevance snowballing downhill so fast, even you can’t believe it.
Buzzmosis (buzz + osmosis): Success achieved solely by standing next to someone actually famous.
Trendification (trend + sanctification): Being algorithmically blessed as a chosen one of the week.
Cloutivity (clout + productivity): Maximizing fame output while doing absolutely nothing of value.
Viralocity (virality + velocity): The speed with which your latest viral moment overtakes your last one.
Influgravitas (influence + gravitas): Delivering TikTok dances with Oscar-night seriousness.
Blistique (bliss + mystique): Achieving an aura so exclusive you no longer interact with humans.
Polly: See, this is why I love having Nelly and The Professor drop by — they bring receipts, even if they’re printed on satire paper.
Sandy: And next week, Dana & Max will probably turn this into a famous for being famous board game. Because nothing says ‘we’ve learned nothing’ like monetizing the problem.
Max (yelling from the next studio): Already working out the details!
Nelly: In fairness, monetizing the problem is half the fun.”
The Professor: And the other half is watching people pay for it.
Polly: Well, whether you’re here for the Flarification, the Buzzmosis, or just the spectacle, one thing’s for sure — fame is only hollow until you have a million followers.
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
