Astrology Signs & Screen Times March 21 2025: Profound Movie Picks in The Age of Cinematic Aquarius
(Aurora and Rex debate the astrological significance of March 21, 2025’s new movie releases—while one of them embraces the Age of Aquarius and the other resists the cosmic pull.)
Aurora:
“Rex, my dear skeptical brother of the cosmos, open your third eye! The planets are aligned, the Moon is in the 7th house, and Jupiter has locked hands with Mars in a sacred dance of cinematic transcendence! This is no ordinary movie release weekend—this is a spiritual awakening! The astrology of this moment is beyond significant!”
Rex:
“I knew I should’ve brought a tinfoil hat to this discussion. Aurora, the only thing the planets are aligning for is a marketing push from Hollywood. But sure, let’s hear how astrology is supposedly shaping our weekend box office.“
The Alto Knights – Scorpio’s Power Struggle
Aurora:
“Feel the power of Scorpio, the sign of transformation and rebirth! Robert De Niro playing two mob bosses? That’s pure Scorpio duality—death and rebirth, betrayal and loyalty. This movie is vibrating at a deep crimson frequency, Rex! The astrology surrounding this release means it will leave a lasting mark.”
Rex:
“The only thing vibrating is your brain after too much incense. It’s a mob movie. There’s no mystic energy here—just two guys in fedoras making bad decisions. But go ahead, tell me how astrology also determines which gangster gets whacked first.”
Ash – A Cosmic Pisces Nightmare
Aurora:
“Pisces, the dreamer, the visionary, the astral traveler! Ash is not just a horror movie—it is a journey into the collective subconscious, where fears manifest as celestial echoes! The loneliness of space? The existential dread? That’s Neptune whispering secrets from beyond! Astrology tells us that this film will tap into our deepest emotional fears!”
Rex:
“Or, it’s a classic astronauts-die-in-space thriller with some jump scares. You don’t need Neptune whispering anything for that. You just need a dark room and a loud soundtrack. But I’m sure astrology will somehow justify why this movie is ‘fated’ to be terrifying.”
Disney’s Snow White – A Venusian Love Letter
Aurora:
“Venus, the planet of beauty and harmony, has blessed Snow White! Rachel Zegler embodies the Libra spirit—graceful, diplomatic, ethereal. And Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen? She’s channeling Taurus energy—luxurious, possessive, a queen ruling from a velvet throne of envy! With astrology predicting a return to fairy-tale storytelling, this movie’s timing is divine!”
Rex:
“You could also just say Snow White is a fairy tale remake and call it a day. Venus doesn’t have a casting department, Aurora. But please, tell me how astrology explains why we’re getting yet another Disney live-action remake.”
Locked – Mercury Retrograde Chaos
Aurora:
“A man trapped inside a car with no escape? That is pure Mercury retrograde hell! Bill Skarsgård is embodying the essence of cosmic miscommunication, where every door locked is a metaphor for the barriers we place within our souls! Astrology is literally unfolding before our eyes!”
Rex:
“Or it’s just Saw but inside a BMW. I’m starting to think astrology is just an excuse to explain bad luck in horror movies.”
Magazine Dreams – Mars, Aries, and Obsession
Aurora:
“Mars, the warrior, the driving force! Jonathan Majors’ character is an Aries soul—bold, relentless, teetering between ambition and self-destruction! Magazine Dreams is a meditation on the fire within us all, pushing us toward either enlightenment or oblivion! Astrology is practically shaping this character’s entire arc!”
Rex:
“So what you’re saying is… a movie about an obsessive bodybuilder has Aries energy because Aries is… kinda obsessive? Aurora, I love your commitment, but this sounds suspiciously like making the stars fit the plot. But if astrology says so, I guess I better believe it, right?”
Final Cosmic Verdict:
Aurora:
“This week’s movies are not just entertainment—they are celestial transmissions, encoded with the energy of the Age of Aquarius! With Jupiter and Mars vibing in cosmic harmony, this is the moment, Rex. The universe is telling us to embrace the art of cinema as a spiritual awakening! Peace, love, and popcorn! And remember, astrology is guiding us whether we accept it or not!”
Rex:
“I don’t know what’s more ridiculous—your astrology or the fact that I’m actually enjoying this debate. Fine, Aurora, let’s ride this cosmic wave. But if Mercury retrograde makes my popcorn stale, I’m blaming you.”
Astrological Sign-Off
Aurora:
“Until next time, dear cosmic travelers, may the stars light your cinematic path, and may astrology always bless your movie choices!”
Rex:
“You could also just check Rotten Tomatoes or make up your own mind like a normal person. See you next week.”
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
