In the grand opera of political theater, where every candidate claims to have the magic solution to fix healthcare, save the economy, and cure all societal woes, there’s one glaring omission from their resumes:
Can they clean a bathroom?
Forget grandstanding on a debate stage; if they can’t handle a toilet brush, are they really ready for office? It’s high time we replace flowery speeches with a good ol’ bottle of bleach and a mop.
Here’s Why
First and foremost, if they can’t handle a little mildew and soap scum, how in the world are they supposed to handle the institutional grime that clogs up the government?
Picture this: a candidate staring, wide-eyed, at a clogged toilet. Now, do we really want this person trying to “unclog” our broken systems?
I think not.
The Details Matter
You know what separates a good leader from a bad one? Attention to detail. And nothing, I repeat nothing, demands more attention to detail than the tricky art of scrubbing behind the toilet.
You can’t just wave a damp rag at the surface and call it a day. No, no—our future leaders need to be knee-deep in the nitty-gritty.
If they can’t obsess over the tiny grout lines in a bathroom, can we trust them to care about those pesky “fine print” clauses in legislation?
Doubtful.
A Lesson in Humility
Cleaning a bathroom is also a fantastic exercise in humility. Nothing says “I’m just like you” quite like a politician on their hands and knees, scrubbing a toilet.
It’s the great equalizer. If they can’t lower themselves to scrub a commode, how can we expect them to connect with the average Joe or Jane?
I’m pretty sure Socrates said that or maybe it was Mr Clean.
The Ultimate Problem-Solver
Politicians love to claim they can solve any problem. Well, let’s see how they fare against a particularly stubborn rust stain or—dare I say it— that combination smell that came from a person dealing with food poisoning. At both ends.
Picture your candidate on their knees, assessing the situation. Are they on the verge of a breakthrough—or a breakdown?
There’s no “filibustering” your way out of that mess. We need leaders who can MacGyver their way out of bathroom crises, just like we need them to creatively fix the crumbling infrastructure, right?
The Camaraderie!
And let’s not forget the value of teamwork. Cleaning a bathroom is a team sport, whether it’s handing the scrub brush to a colleague or tag-teaming the shower scum situation. If they can’t cooperate over a filthy sink, how are they going to bring Congress together?
Personal Growth
Lastly, cleaning a bathroom builds character. That’s right—discipline, perseverance, a borderline unhealthy obsession with cleanliness.
If a candidate can’t push through a little elbow grease, how on earth can we expect them to survive the mudslinging and backroom deals of Washington?
So, the next time you head to the polls, skip the political platform and ask the important question: Has this candidate ever scrubbed a toilet? If they haven’t?
They’re not cut out to clean up Washington.
Simple as that!
