Tired of political ads, endless debates, and the constant “Did you vote yet?” reminders?
We get it.
You might not need a secret bunker, but you could definitely use a little escape.
Here are five stealthy hiding spots where you can lay low until election season is safely behind us. These “everyday” spots may be right in front of you, but no one will think to check them:
The “Buffering” Stage of a Zoom Call
Embrace the beauty of virtual anonymity. Just freeze with your camera off and your mouth half-open, looking as glitchy as possible. No one will expect you to have any political opinions while you’re “connecting to audio” in limbo.
The Seasonal Aisle at Walmart in July
In this mysterious space, you can lurk among the mismatched summer gear, Halloween costumes, and early Christmas lights. With so much sensory overload, you’re practically invisible. Plus, you can sample next season’s discounted snacks.
The Bottom of a Bag of Potato Chips
Crunchy, salty, and oh-so-hidden. Sure, this one requires periodic bag replacements, but you’ll stay well-fed while you’re holed up. Pro tip: Just make sure nobody gets nosy and starts fishing around for crumbs.
Under Your To-Do List
This one’s been growing since 2018, so it’s had time to pile up impressively. Buried under “Declutter closet,” “learn French,” and “finally use that gym membership,” you’ll find a safe space where nothing—least of all election talk—can reach you.
Inside a ’90s Infomercial
Step back into the land of never-ending miracles, where political talk doesn’t exist and everything can be fixed with five easy payments. Just bask in the timeless wonder of Ronco, OxiClean, and countertop rotisseries—right where no campaign ad can find you.
Sometimes the best way to dodge the season’s chaos is by blending into life’s most unexpected corners.
So grab your chips, set your Zoom status to “buffering,” and let the countdown to post-election calm begin!
