Flavor on a Budget #7 How to Savor the Splurge Under the “Sea” – Sally & Charlie Recreate a Fabulous $300 Dinner for Under $15”
Satire Disclaimer
This article is a work of satire, created to lovingly mock the idea that any dinner—no matter how perfectly poached, ethically sourced, or served beneath the ocean—should cost $300 per plate.
We’ve tasted plenty of delicious meals in our day, but none so magical they made us forget rent was due.
And if you’re wondering, yes—they do serve $100 snacks at this place.
That’s not fine dining.
That’s deep-sea delusion.
Welcome to Flavor on a Budget.
SALLY: When I stumbled across the dinner menu for the Ithaa Undersea Restaurant, I was mid-bite into a tuna sandwich and nearly choked on the irony.
Apparently, it costs $300 per plate to eat in a glass tunnel beneath the sea while tropical fish judge your food choices.
That’s not a meal—it’s a mortgage with seafood.
CHARLIE: And they called the starter Amuse Bouche. I thought that was a Bond villain. Like—“Amuse Bouche: License to Filet.”
SALLY: Instead of mocking this aquatic opulence from dry land, we decided to dive into the deep end ourselves.
That’s right—we’re recreating the entire overpriced menu on a budget so tight, it squeaks.
If you’ve ever dreamed of a romantic underwater dinner but also like…paying rent, this one’s for you.
🐟 Welcome to Budget Atlantis
SALLY: We started with ambiance. You don’t need to be five meters underwater to feel submerged.
Just hang a few construction-paper fish from the ceiling, toss a blue scarf over your lamp for ocean lighting, and cue up some YouTube bubble sounds.
CHARLIE: And if you’ve got a humidifier? Boom. Instant sea mist. You’re already halfway to a spa.
🍽️ The Menu: Deluxe Delusions on a Budget
Crab & Caviar?
SALLY: We whipped up a canned crab dip and added balsamic pearls we found in the clearance bin. Spread it on an off brand Ritz cracker and serve it with confidence.
CHARLIE: I called mine “Char-luga Caviar.” Sounds fancy. Tastes… suspicious.
Cured Jackfish with Coconut?
SALLY: Crack open a can of tuna, toss in some pickle slices, coconut flakes, and a dash of lemon juice. Serve it cold and call it “Tuna Tart-ish.”
Poached Lobster?
CHARLIE: We went with imitation lobster chunks stirred into boxed mac and cheese. I call it “Crustacean Creation on a Budget Vacation.”
Sesame-Crusted Yellowfin Tuna?
SALLY: Instant ramen. Stir-fried with tuna and a squirt of sriracha. Sprinkle on sesame seeds if you’re feeling bold or just…borrow some from your neighbor.
Lemongrass & Basil Sorbet?
CHARLIE: Lemon popsicles with basil leaves stuck on the side. Budget elegance, baby.
Wagyu Beef Tenderloin?
SALLY: TV dinner Salisbury steak with instant mashed potatoes and a little gravy whispering “truffle jus” in the dark.
Chilean Sea Bass?
CHARLIE: Fish sticks over mashed cauliflower. We even added a curried ketchup drizzle for international flair. Total cost? Less than a bus ride.
Chocolate Parfait?
SALLY: Layer chocolate pudding, crushed cookies, and whipped topping in a wine glass. It’s a budget dessert that says, “I contain multitudes—and they’re all edible.”
💵 Final Tab: Deep-Sea Fantasy, Shallow Budget
CHARLIE: All in? About $13.80 for two people. Not per plate—total. If that’s not Flavor on a Budget, I don’t know what is.
SALLY: Could we feel the gentle sway of the Indian Ocean around us? No.
Could we hear whales singing in the distance? No.
But could we enjoy a seafood dinner while our paper fish swirled in the ceiling fan breeze and our cat stared at us like we’d finally snapped?
Absolutely.
🎣 Budget Brilliance
SALLY: In a world obsessed with luxury, it’s easy to forget that creativity thrives on limitations.
A tight budget forces flavor, fun, and fish-shaped decorations into harmony.
So the next time you see a $300 seafood tasting menu, just remember—you’re one trip to the dollar store away from an immersive undersea experience that doesn’t drown your checking account.
CHARLIE: Besides, the only thing better than dinner under the sea is bragging that you did it for under fifteen bucks. And no one got seasick.
🎣 Bonus Recipe: Charlie’s Budget Baja Tacos
Because the only thing better than dining under the sea is doing it with tacos.
Ingredients:
1 pack imitation crab (about 8 oz) – $2.00
4 small corn tortillas – $1.00
½ cup coleslaw mix – $0.50
2 tablespoons salsa or chopped tomatoes – $0.50
1 teaspoon oil + taco seasoning – pantry staples
Optional: sliced avocado or lime wedge (if your budget allows)
Instructions:
- Chop the imitation crab into small pieces. Sauté in a pan with a splash of oil and a dash of taco seasoning until warmed and lightly browned.
- Heat the tortillas (in a pan, microwave, or over the sink with the hairdryer—we don’t judge).
- Fill tortillas with crab, slaw, and salsa. Top with avocado or lime if you’re feeling tropical.
- Serve while basking in the LED glow of your underwater fantasy. Bonus points if there’s a fish mobile spinning overhead and you refer to yourself as “Captain Budget.”
Total Cost: ~$4.00
Serves: 2 people who know how to sail through life on flavor, not finance.
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
