Gracie’s High-Octane NASCAR – Jack’s Devastating March Madness and 1 Enormous Galactic Thunder Clap

Gracie’s High-Octane NASCAR – Jack’s Devastating March Madness and 1 Enormous Galactic Thunder Clap

 

Gracie: So… Jack. Your NASCAR picks? Were they even in South Carolina?

 

And not only that—you didn’t have either team in the NCAA Championship. Not Florida. Not Houston.

 

Did you fix the cosmic universe, or are we still drifting in karaoke-fueled chaos?

Jack: I tried! I made a public apology to Aurora. I put it out there in front of the whole galaxy. But she won’t take my calls.

 

I even sent her a Moon Pie gift basket. Nothing. It’s like she blocked me from every astral plane.

 

Gracie: Well, I’m not saying the cosmos is petty, but it does have standards.

 

If you think one apology clears the cosmic karma you messed up singing that duet with Pop Culture Polly, you’ve got another thing coming.

 

Jack: What if I karaoke an apology to her?

 

Like, really belt out a love song? Something heartfelt.

 

Maybe “Total Eclipse of the Heart” but, you know, with more moon metaphors.

Gracie: If you sing again at the Spotlight Lounge, I swear we’re going to have to call Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to blow up another asteroid.

 

The last cosmic disturbance nearly knocked Jupiter out of alignment.

 

Jack: Okay, okay. Point taken. Let’s talk sports before you sign me up for an exorcism.

 

Gracie: Let’s start with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.

 

What a wild finish! Florida took down Houston, 65–63, to win their third national title.

 

Walter Clayton Jr.’s clutch defense sealed the deal.

 

Jack: Yeah, both of my Final Four teams—Duke and Auburn—made it that far, but neither of them reached the title game.

 

It’s like my bracket ran out of gas right before the finish line. And then it spontaneously combusted when I opened up the app.

 

Gracie: Meanwhile, I had both Florida and Houston in the Final Four—and in the championship game.

 

That’s right. I called it. A perfect title prediction.

 

Could have been because I wasn’t cosmically cursed.

 

Jack: I admit it. I’m rattled. My intuition’s been scrambled since that duet.

 

The energy around me is off—like my sports vibes are coated in bad karma glitter.

 

Gracie: That would explain your NASCAR predictions too. Let’s review those, shall we?

 

Jack: Ugh. Do we have to?

Gracie: Yes, Jack. It’s time for your brilliant NASCAR Roundup.

 

At the Goodyear 400 at Darlington Raceway, Denny Hamlin took the win, with William Byron right behind him. Tyler Reddick finished fourth.

 

And now your bold choices?

 

Jack: Ryan Preece in 26th… Michael McDowell in 29th… AJ Allmendinger 18th. Zane Smith did okay in 12th. Ross Chastain salvaged some pride with 7th place.

 

Gracie: Hmm, 7th huh. And I warned you about picking Preece to win.

 

That was a NASCAR fantasy, not a NASCAR forecast.

 

I had Hamlin, Byron, and Reddick. That’s three out of the top four finishers.

 

Jack: Yeah, yeah yeah. You’re right. You nailed it. Your NASCAR intuition was tuned in.

 

Mine… still short-circuited. I’m not even sure I’m legally allowed to say the word “NASCAR” at all this week.

 

Gracie: You’ve already said it four times. I’m keeping count.

 

Jack: Fine. NASCAR… NASCAR… NASCAR.

 

Maybe if I say it three times like Beetlejuice, my picks will finally come true next week.

 

Gracie: Great. If the ghost of Dale Earnhardt shows up, I’m blaming you.

Jack: Fair. But hey, desperate times.

 

Gracie: I don’t remember anything desperate about NASCAR’s Darlington Race. It proved that experience and strategy still win out, and the NCAA tournament gave us a title game filled with grit and defense. Meanwhile, Jack’s predictions are now under review—by both sports analysts and intergalactic forces.

 

Jack: I’ll get it back, Gracie. I’ll realign. Even if it means star meditations, naked moonlight bathing, and chanting “NASCAR” like it’s a summoning spell.

 

Gracie: Good. Because Aurora and the cosmos aren’t done with you yet—and neither is NASCAR.