Home The Daily Ridiculous Rudy Giuliani’s Wild New Career! $150M Problem Solved!

Rudy Giuliani’s Wild New Career! $150M Problem Solved!

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Photo by Pavel Danilyuk: https://www.pexels.com/photo/themis-figurine-at-lawyers-office-8112199/

Legal Games You Didn’t Know You Needed

In the latest episode of “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up,” former New York City Mayor and recent law license-free citizen, Rudy Giuliani, has been busy reinventing himself after losing his ability to practice law in both New York and Washington, D.C.

And now, after being ordered to turn over his Manhattan penthouse and all his valuables to Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, whom he defamed, he’s finding new ways to keep busy.

But, don’t worry—he’s not letting a little thing like owing $150 million get him down. Instead, Giuliani is launching his brand-new career in a field that suits his, let’s say, creative approach to the law: game design. Specifically, legal games.

That’s right—Rudy is stepping into the world of interactive legal simulations, where facts are negotiable, evidence is just for decoration, and you’re only one press conference away from Total Landscaping fame.

Here’s a sneak peek at some of the exciting, definitely-not-accurate legal games he’s cooking up:

  1. “Do I Have a Case?”

Ever wonder what it’s like to file a lawsuit based on vibes alone? In this high-energy game, you’ll step into Rudy’s shoes and try to file as many lawsuits as you can before anyone notices you don’t have actual evidence!

Your goal?

To see how far you can take a case before it’s thrown out. Bonus points if you get airtime on cable news! But beware—accidentally using facts might slow you down.

Game Tip: Filing lawsuits in multiple states at once is encouraged. Extra points if you can keep a straight face while arguing something nobody understands.

  1. “Fraudulent Objections!”

Courtroom chaos is taken to new heights in this rapid-fire trivia game where players compete to shout out the most bizarre, baseless objections.

From “This is a witch hunt!” to “Voting machines are ghosts,” the more ridiculous, the better. The key here is creativity. Just remember, you lose points if your objection makes legal sense.

Pro Player Tip: Distract your opponents by sweating profusely at the podium—it works every time.

  1. “Argument Wars: Alt-Reality Edition”

Why stick to boring, conventional laws when you can make up your own?

In Argument Wars: Alt-Reality Edition, you can argue Supreme Court cases without the hassle of constitutional restraints.

Don’t like the outcome? Make up a new one!

Argue that the moon is a voting precinct, or declare yourself the rightful winner of the election for “World’s Best Lawyer.”

Bonus Round: What’s the Constitution? Nobody knows! Interpret it however you want—after all, in this version, reality is just an opinion.

  1. “Disbarment Dash”

A fast-paced adventure game where you race through the legal world, dodging ethics panels, bar associations, and accountability like a pro!

Players must stay one step ahead of disbarment by collecting power-ups like “Memory Lapses” and “Conspiracy Theories.” Get to the finish line before your legal career falls apart—oh, wait…

Watch Out For: Ambushes by fact-checkers. They’ll slow you down with all that “truth” nonsense.

  1. “Courtroom Chaos: Election Edition”

Have you ever dreamed of undermining democracy, one lawsuit at a time?

Well, now you can, in Courtroom Chaos: Election Edition.

With a team of rogue lawyers and wild conspiracy theories, your mission is to throw out as many votes as possible.

The stakes are high—win the case, or get dragged by the media for losing it spectacularly. Either way, it’s sure to be a headline-worthy disaster!

Unlockable Characters: Play as a sweating Rudy Giuliani or choose from his all-star team of sidekick legal minds (tinfoil hat sold separately).

  1. “Giuliani’s Law Firm Tycoon”

Ever wanted to run your own law firm where ethics are optional, and actual legal knowledge is a burden?

Now’s your chance! In Giuliani’s Law Firm Tycoon, you manage a bustling firm where the goal isn’t to win cases, but to make headlines.

Your strategy? Promise clients the impossible, file suits with the flimsiest of arguments, and collect those retainers before reality comes knocking.

Hot Tip: Lawsuits don’t need to succeed to pay the bills. Get creative with your legal theories—courts love that!

Rudy’s Legacy, Now in Game Form

Who knew that a disbarred lawyer could reinvent himself as the hottest new name in the world of legal games?

Sure, he may no longer have a license to practice law, but who needs one when you’re living in the world of alternative facts and creative legal interpretations?

Giuliani’s unique perspective on courtroom antics is sure to leave a mark on the world of video games—and probably in the news too.

So, grab your popcorn (or maybe some hair dye), sit back, and get ready for the legal gaming revolution we never asked for.

Rudy Giuliani’s games are coming soon to a bargain bin near you. Just make sure to check for loopholes in the Terms and Conditions.

Disclaimer: None of these games actually exist or will help you pass the bar exam—or get you reinstated after disbarment-or be worth $150M.