See You Next Thursday Episode 1: Incredible Exclusive Content, Outrageous Reality and Riveting Chase Scenes
Satire Disclaimer
The following is a work of satire intended to parody modern media, influencer culture, and the slow extinction of common sense.
If you’ve ever watched someone willingly get tackled by a dinosaur for internet clout, this award show was designed specifically for you.
Exploring with Nelly and the Professor: The First Ever “See You Next Thursday” Award
NELLY: Welcome back, explorers! I’m Nelly, and that’s the Professor.
Today, we’re taking a slight detour from ancient ruins and historic landmarks to investigate something far more dangerous.
The modern media industry.
PROFESSOR: Indeed. And what better way to begin than by unearthing the most absurd, jaw-dropping lapse in judgment we’ve encountered this week.
In a world full of bad decisions this one earned its own fossil category.
We are proud—no, deeply concerned—to present the very first See You Next Thursday Award.
NELLY: It goes to… drumroll, please!
🥁 Whoever greenlit the Jurassic Park knockoff dating show known as Influencer Island: Raptor Edition.
PROFESSOR: Because turning a Jurassic Park knockoff into a deathmatch dating show is peak humanity.
It’s a cross between Love Island and Jurassic World but with more blood and less shame, if that’s even possible.
And charging $5 extra for Brutal Crunch Mode™?
Capitalism, baby.
NELLY: Now, to be clear, the show promised “authentic prehistoric romance.”
Which apparently means abs everywhere and consensual chasing in the name of love.
But based on early footage, it mostly involves shirtless influencers screaming, “Do you even paleo, bro?” while running from a velociraptor in branded athleisure.
PROFESSOR: According to one leaked production memo, the original concept was called Love in the Time of Extinction, but the title was deemed “too subtle” for the target demographic.
NELLY: Viewers had the option to pay an additional $9.99 for the “family-friendly” version—called Just a Nibble—where the dinosaurs only gently maul contestants.
Or as the producers call it “light savagery for the whole family.”
PROFESSOR: A fascinating model of tiered trauma that just screams see you next Thursday.
Like a TED Talk hosted by a T-Rex with a ring light.
NELLY: And so, with full sarcasm and the weight of all that remains of human dignity, we say: See You Next Thursday to the decision-makers behind this fossilized fiasco.
Seriously, did nobody in the meeting say, “Maybe this is too much?”
PROFESSOR: We did consider nominating Luxembourg again for hoarding chocolate and laundering cash, but even they couldn’t compete with a raptor handing out roses.
And we checked—that rose had a brand sponsor.
NELLY: It’s tradition now: each week we’ll present the See You Next Thursday Award to the person, company, or country most committed to making the world dumber, louder, and slightly more bitey.
This isn’t just an award—it’s a public service. Like traffic cones for the soul
PROFESSOR: This week, the evidence was… overwhelming.
From the branded flamethrower confessionals to the inflatable T-Rex hot tub scene—this show did not merely jump the shark. It invited the shark to dinner, ghosted it, and then fed it to a stegosaurus for views.
NELLY: In summary:
Influencer Island exists
It includes a competitive eating round called Rib for Her Pleasure
The host is a raptor named Claw Daddy
And somewhere, someone got paid to approve it.
And probably got a bonus for suggesting Dino-Lube™ as part of the merch.
PROFESSOR: See You Next Thursday.
NELLY: Join us next week when we explore a new contender for the See You Next Thursday crown.
Possibly the billionaire who bought a news outlet just to replace the staff with AI-generated gossip about himself.
Narcissism isn’t just a personality trait anymore—it’s a business model. And yes, we’re tracking it.
PROFESSOR: Or the startup that launched AI-generated toddlers for virtual influencer parents.
Because if there’s one thing this world needed it was synthetic children with brand deals.
Either way…
BOTH: We’ll see you next Thursday.
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
