You know him. You love him. He’s the stoic, no-nonsense justice dealer who turns the tables on corrupt bad guys, armed with nothing but his righteous indignation, an old stopwatch, and a very particular set of skills.
Denzel Washington’s The Equalizer is the vigilante we all wish we had in our corner—except he’s busy handling mobsters, traffickers, and other garden-variety villains.
But what about the biggest villains of all? The ones who smile on earnings calls, hoard wealth like dragons, and convince Congress that a billionaire’s tears are a legitimate source of renewable energy.
Who’s standing up for the working class against the corporate lobbyists? Where’s our Equalizer?
Cue the satirical Comedy Central spin-off: The Equalizer of the People.
A Hero for the 99%
Meet Benny “Budget” Endsmeet, a mild-mannered IT worker by day and a chaos-wreaking, power-balancing vigilante by night.
Benny “Budget” Endsmeet doesn’t have Denzel’s brooding intensity, but he does have a Costco membership, an encyclopedic knowledge of tax loopholes, and a burning desire to make sure no one has to sell their grandma’s heirlooms just to pay for insulin.
Armed with everyday items—think a thrift-store suit, an out-of-date laptop, and a rubber chicken that doubles as a flash drive—Benny infiltrates the elite, exposing their greed and redistributing their ill-gotten gains in the most absurd ways possible.
This isn’t your gritty action thriller; it’s a tongue-in-cheek takedown of the most ridiculous aspects of modern inequality.
Episode Highlights
Pilot Episode: “Trickle Down This”
A corporate titan throws a $10 million yacht party to celebrate outsourcing thousands of jobs.
Benny hacks into their party livestream, replacing the corporate pep talk with footage of their tax-deductible yacht and a montage of the laid-off workers using the hashtag #EatTheRich.
The billionaire, humiliated, ends up funding free daycare for the employees they fired.
Episode Two: “The PAC Attack”
When Ivy Von Assets (heir to the Von Assets fortune) lobbies to make a three-day weekend illegal, Benny goes into full Equalizer mode.
Using a fake PR campaign, Benny leaks that Ivy plans to replace worker lunch breaks with “yawn stations.”
Outrage ensues!
Ivy is forced to publicly apologize and sign a bill mandating monthly three-day weekends instead.
Episode Three: “Wage Rage”
MegaCorp’s HR team is running workshops on “How to Deny Raises Without Guilt.” Benny replaces their PowerPoint with a slideshow of yachts and sports cars labeled with employee overtime hours.
The employees leave inspired to unionize, and the CEO is forced to redistribute the company’s bonus pool to the workers.
Recurring Gags
Benny’s “super-spy gadgets” are absurdly low-tech. A union flyer disguised as a pizza menu? Check. A hacked Fitbit that translates corporate buzzwords into plain English? Double check.
The billionaires are cartoonishly villainous—like Sir Fenton Stockpile III, who uses terms like “peasant productivity” without a hint of irony, and Ivy Von Assets, who thinks a $10,000 handbag is a write-off because “it carries my emotional labor.”
Benny’s undercover personas include ridiculous roles like a “crypto guru” pitching PeasantCoin or a motivational speaker claiming to help billionaires “unlock their inner humanity”.
The Grand Finale
The season culminates in Benny taking on The Lobbyists, a secret cabal of ultra-rich elites who literally play Monopoly with congressional votes.
In a glorious act of revenge, Benny hacks their offshore accounts, funds universal healthcare, and uses the leftovers to buy everyone in the country a McRib.
The Comedy Central Connection
Sure, The Equalizer is a dark and brooding thriller, but this spin-off would take those same themes of justice and turn them into absurd satire.
Imagine the show airing alongside The Daily Show or South Park, delivering biting commentary on economic inequality in a way that’s equal parts hilarious and uncomfortably true.
The billionaires would hate it.
The working class would love it.
And Denzel?
He might just give us a sly nod of approval—after all, even vigilantes need a good laugh sometimes.
