The Hunting Wives and the Lost Art of Stimulating Gratuitous Sex: Informer.Digital Debate Special 5
Satire Disclaimer
The following is a work of satire intended to parody the modern media landscape and the flood of opinion-based programming that now dominates it.
No sex scenes were harmed during this episode—although some were altered because we were too tired to participate.
NOVA: So, The Hunting Wives—it’s binge-worthy, sure. The pacing, the fashion, the intrigue… it’s all there.
POLLY: Totally. But they could’ve done without the gratuitous sex scenes. It doesn’t add anything. The story still works without them.
NOVA: Exactly. It’s like Netflix thinks every plot twist needs a bedpost for punctuation.
SANDY: Gratuitous? I don’t even know why you’d put that word next to sex. Even the word sounds jealous—like it’s mad someone’s having fun.
CORNELIUS: When I was your age, you had to work for it. There was a cable channel you weren’t supposed to get—Channel 98 or something—and if you angled the antenna just right, you could almost see a leg, or an elbow, or something that might’ve been a knee.
SANDY: And that was high art! We’re just finally getting the sex that was owed to us.
POLLY: Owed? It’s not reparations, it’s a storyline. And it doesn’t advance the plot.
NOVA: Right. If you cut the scene, the story still works. You’re supposed to use intimacy to deepen character motivation, not to make the pause button blush.
CORNELIUS: Motivation? I was plenty motivated! That snowy channel taught me patience, hope, and how to hold the remote perfectly still for twenty minutes.
SANDY: These kids want their intimacy to come with subtitles and symbolism. Sometimes it’s just two people having fun before the next murder plot twist!
CORNELIUS: Exactly! I mean how many murder plot twists do we need?
NOVA: Would you rather have a show that’s just about a bunch of rich women who spend the day cheating on their husbands.
SANDY: Do you know what channel that’s on?
POLLY: It’s just that it feels lazy, like emotional filler.
CORNELIUS: So let me get this straight with AI erotica you are a willing participant. But with real people you’re a no?
POLLY: With AI erotica I am the creator. Hunting Wives is gratuitous sex when somebody else feels like it.
SANDY: The Hunting Wives isn’t gratuitous—it’s generous. It’s giving us the passion television forgot in the age of algorithm-approved romance.
NOVA: Or maybe it’s just catering to attention spans that require… stimulation every seven minutes.
CORNELIUS: 7? I once counted 23 minutes in between somebody getting their ass grabbed. When I was your age we had better pacing.
POLLY: When you were our age, romance meant flirting and playing hard to get.
SANDY: And that’s why you appreciate what you’ve got! You’ve got HD, 4K, and intimacy that doesn’t require squinting through static. We earned this.
NOVA: So you’re saying it’s cultural payback?
CORNELIUS: Exactly. The Hunting Wives isn’t about sex—it’s about closure.
SANDY: And perspective. And maybe lighting. Definitely better lighting.
CORNELIUS: And visual stimulation that benefits your circulatory system.
POLLY: Okay, but can we agree that not every scene needs to prove how liberated we are?
SANDY: If liberation looks that good on camera, yes it does.
POLLY: To be clear, we do like The Hunting Wives; we just don’t need every episode to validate its steamy brand with an extra scene.
NOVA: The Hunting Wives is stylish enough to let tension breathe—motive, stakes, fallout—without inserting intimacy like a pop-up ad.
SANDY: The intimacy is the oxygen, kiddo. Take away the sizzle and you’re left with casserole. And nobody binges casserole—not even if it’s called The Hunting Wives: Low-Sodium Edition.
CORNELIUS: When I was your age, we would’ve named a street after a show like The Hunting Wives not just coffee cups t-shirts.
POLLY: I just got a text from Central Command. ‘Please replace “gratuitous” with “gratitude-adjacent.” Compliance earns one espresso token.’
NOVA: See? Even the suits want a euphemism.
SANDY: Perfect. Then call it “gratitude-adjacent cinema” and let consenting characters be consenting characters. We can analyze subtext after The Hunting Wives fun.
Critics call it “gratuitous” or “finally visible”. Either way, The Hunting Wives reminds us that desire never goes out of style—it just upgrades its subscription plan.
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
