🎥 TikTok Rapture – Episode 1: Incredible Signs in the Sky and the Valiant Quest for Followers in the Feed
Satire Disclaimer
The following is a work of satire poking fun at social media hype, influencer culture, and anyone who can turn the end of the world into a brand strategy.
We are not mocking faith or prophecy. We are mocking the TikTok circus that turns every earthquake, eclipse, or headline into an End Times livestream.
Unlike those TikTokers broadcasting from hotel balconies in Israel, we’ll tell you the truth: we don’t want your soul—we just want your follow.
And for those of you who think TikTok gets such a bad rap, well gee, we can’t imagine why. After all, when you go from professional cup stacking to dance challenges, the next natural progression is obviously… end-of-times prophecies.
That’s it. No secret agenda. No rapture merch drop. Just more eyes on more ridiculous satire. Thanks for the follow and remember to hit that subscribe button!
Scene: Informer.Digital newsroom studio.
GRACIE (leaning forward, serious): Look, I’ve seen the livestreams. TikTok accounts showing Israel, red heifers in pens, the Temple Mount on shaky cell phone cameras. Everyone’s talking about September 23. The TikTok Rapture is coming, and we’d be fools to ignore it.
CORNELIUS (smirking, quoting scripture): Matthew 24 says no one knows the day or hour except the Father. So unless that guy on the balcony with an iPhone is a lot more important than he looks and why exactly would he choose TikTok? I would think he would have his own streaming platform.
SANDY (snapping): Well, it tracks. If you’re going to run the apocalypse, you need an algorithm.
REX (defensive, pounding the desk): Laugh all you want, but the signs are everywhere! The TikTok Rapture isn’t just trending — it’s prophecy unfolding in real time.
NIKKE (dry, shaking head): Or it’s just another influencer hoping to cash in.
Every generation has its Rapture date. The only thing that keeps going up is follower counts.
And this time, it’s all packaged as the TikTok Rapture because hashtags make the end of the world more marketable.
GRACIE (pointing a finger): You don’t understand. The red heifer sightings are real. The livestreams are real. The Temple Mount is there.
How many more signs do you need before you take the TikTok Rapture seriously?
CORNELIUS (arch eyebrow): Funny you should say “seriously.” Because if these TikTok prophets really believed, they wouldn’t be livestreaming.
They’d be selling you a Limited Edition Rapture Coin™ — guaranteed to shine until September 23, then instantly obsolete.
GRACIE (furious): That’s sacrilege!
SANDY (grinning, cutting in): Relax, Gracie. We’re not mocking prophecy. We’re mocking the circus.
These TikTok Rapture stars act like they’re getting insider scoops from heaven, but what they really want is clicks, likes, and subscribers.
NIKKE (mock serious): Exactly. If the TikTok Rapture is so certain, why spend hours editing transitions and captions instead of preparing your soul?
Unless, of course, the real endgame is to hit 100,000 followers before the trumpet blows.
GRACIE (still fuming): You think everything’s a joke.
SANDY (deadpan): Not everything. Just anything labeled “Breaking News: TikTok Rapture confirmed — link in bio.”
NIKKE (mock announcer voice): “Introducing the Flat-Pack Temple™! Assemble it yourself in two hours or less. Comes with one allen wrench and zero divine approval.
Order before September 23 and we’ll throw in a glow-in-the-dark Rapture Shoe™.”
GRACIE (throwing up hands): You can’t IKEA-fy the Holy of Holies!
CORNELIUS (calmly): Tell that to TikTok. They already turned the apocalypse into a dance trend. Give it a week and we’ll have the #RaptureShuffle challenge trending right under cat videos.
(Cue mock ad spot — lights dim, dramatic music swells, fast cuts of products: Coin, Shoe, Flat-Pack Temple, Snow Globe.)
ANNOUNCER (voiceover, booming): “The TikTok Rapture Collection™ — order now, while supplies (and the world) last.
Featuring the Limited Edition Rapture Coin™, the glow-in-the-dark Rapture Shoe™, and the Flat-Pack Temple™ for the prophecy enthusiast who believes in building it themselves.
Don’t miss our Mini Temple Snow Globe™ — shake and watch the end times fall before your very eyes.”
“And because we know you love exclusives, the first 500 callers also receive the Rapture Bobblehead Set™ — apostles, angels, and prophets, all with heads that nod along as you wait for the trumpet.”
(Quick-cut montage of smiling actors holding products, pointing to phones, clouds glowing in background.)
ANNOUNCER (closing punchline): “Operators are standing by. Credit cards preferred, souls optional. Call now — the TikTok Rapture won’t wait forever… probably.”
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
