Wacky Benny’s Stunning Conspiracy Corner #4: “The Mutant Mind Trust is Real!”
You ever feel like Hollywood’s trying to tell us something without really telling us? Well, buckle up, because this isn’t just another sequel, people—this is a conspiracy.
And not just any conspiracy, no, no, no… this is The Mutant Mind Trust, the most ambitious entertainment-based conspiracy since that time I exposed the real purpose of pudding cups.
Let me lay it out for you.
“Avengers: Doomsday,” coming to theaters May 1st, 2026, is being paraded around as a feel-good superhero crossover. But it’s not nostalgia—it’s neural reprogramming.
This is a conspiracy cooked up by the deepest layers of the entertainment-industrial complex.
Now, let me ask you: Why are so many former X-Men actors being resurrected for this movie?
Patrick Stewart. Ian McKellen. James Marsden. Channing Tatum—who was allegedly cast as Gambit a decade ago but never showed up—until now.
It’s not coincidence. It’s conspiracy number two: The Return of the Mutant Messengers.
These actors aren’t just playing mutants. They are mutants. That’s right.
The Mutant Mind Trust—an elite, secretive alliance of mutant sympathizers, rogue telepaths, and high-ranking studio executives—is orchestrating this whole thing.
Their goal? Use this blockbuster event to activate dormant mutant genes in moviegoers through subliminal soundwaves, blinking lights, and coded one-liners embedded in the dialogue.
Conspiracy number three: This movie is being positioned as a soft launch for mutant normalization.
They’re not prepping us for fiction—they’re prepping us for reality. Because the moment “Avengers: Doomsday” ends, you’re going to exit the theater feeling different.
Lighter. Stronger. Maybe your neighbor suddenly bends a spoon with his mind. Maybe your cat starts speaking fluent Portuguese.
And you’ll think, “Wow, wild dream last night!” But it wasn’t a dream, pal.
It was conspiracy in IMAX 3D.
And guess what? Conspiracy number four: they’re embedding code words in the trailers already.
Phrases like “evolution begins here” or “the future is mutant.”
Harmless? No. They’re trigger phrases. The popcorn’s just a cover. That buttery taste? It’s laced with nanodust. Don’t even get me started on the 3D glasses—those things beam frequencies straight into your frontal lobe.
So what can we do?
Step one: Stay alert. Watch your neighbors for sudden changes in behavior—telepathy, glowing hands, or newfound interest in orchestral jazz.
Step two: Build a Faraday cage around your TV. It won’t stop the mutant signals from everywhere, but it’ll at least block the ones coming from your Roku.
Step three: Say the phrase “Patrick Stewart is in my soup” at random intervals in public. If anyone responds knowingly, they’re one of them.
Conspiracy number five: Channing Tatum’s long-delayed Gambit debut was part of an initiation ritual.
They needed to delay his casting until the cosmic alignment of franchise rights, TikTok trends, and lunar energy was complete. Which happened, I kid you not, at exactly 4:44 AM on February 2nd, 2024. Look it up.
Conspiracy six through eleven include:
The time-travel subplot is real.
Ian McKellen hasn’t aged in 40 years—why?
The actors are using press tours to identify other “sleepers.”
Marvel is a front for the Mutant Mind Trust.
Stan Lee’s cameos were actually field reports.
The post-credit scenes? They’re encrypted messages meant for agents already activated in the crowd.
Folks, I’m not saying don’t see the movie.
I’m saying see it with goggles made from shredded microwave manuals and aluminum foil.
And bring a notebook. Write down every word spoken by any actor who has ever played Magneto. Reverse it. Translate it into Morse code. Then email it to me.
This is not entertainment. This is the most well-funded, popcorn-fueled conspiracy in cinematic history. And if you think this ends with Doomsday, you’re dreaming.
Because just when I thought the biggest conspiracy of the week was mutant activation through popcorn dust, boom—we get the Spotlight Lounge Incident.”
Yes, I saw the photo.
Two Informer.Digital coworkers.
One karaoke stage.
A suspiciously emotional rendition of “Eye of the Tiger.”
And a glance that triggered a thousand DMs.
You think this was just a musical interlude? Please.
That duet was a coded broadcast. A signal. Possibly the soft launch of a covert media romance agenda—or worse—a distraction from something bigger.
Maybe Jack and Polly aren’t in love.
Maybe they were assigned to look like they’re in love.
It’s called Synthetic Chemistry Deployment—look it up. They charm us. We look away. And while we’re busy gossiping, guess what? Boom. Another intern disappears. Or the vending machine starts talking again.
Coincidence? Nice try, Agent 47.
Stay skeptical, stay grounded, and never trust a man in a trench coat offering you a DVD of X-Men: The Last Stand or The Best of Survivor CD. That’s how they get you.
This is Wacky Benny, signing off—unless they find me first.
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
