The box office is buzzing with excitement, and theaters are packed as audiences flock to see Moana, Wicked, and Gladiator 2.
But as much as these blockbusters are thrilling us on the big screen, it got us thinking: What if these larger-than-life characters put their heads together and started a business?
Sure, they’ve got their differences—Moana’s all about the open sea, the Wicked Witch has a thing for green vengeance, and gladiators tend to focus on not getting eaten by lions—but isn’t that what makes for the best entrepreneurial partnerships?
Here are a few ventures we could imagine these characters launching:
1. “Defy Gravity Tours & Fitness”
Combining Moana’s love of adventure and the Wicked Witch’s knack for flying, they offer extreme workout experiences with magical flying broom rentals, ocean kayaking, and gladiator-style boot camps. The tagline? “Get fit, or get flipped!”
2. “Sea, Sky, and Sand Gladiator Adventures”
A live-action roleplay park where you can channel your inner hero. Battle enchanted sea creatures, duel witches, and compete in gladiator games. Don’t worry, the Witch provides magical healing potions (sold separately).
3. “Spell, Surf, & Sword Studios”
A hybrid surf shop, potion boutique, and sword-making workshop. Customers can brew a wave-riding potion, craft a personalized gladiator sword, and hit the beach for magical surfing lessons.
4. “Melt & Maim Bakery”
A bakery specializing in dangerously delicious goods: molten lava cakes (courtesy of Moana’s volcanic vibes), wickedly good caramel apples, and “Arena Breadsticks” perfect for fending off hungry competitors.
5. “Enchanted Gladiator Spa”
Combining gladiator toughness with magical pampering, this spa offers volcanic mud baths, witchy green facials, and seawater hydrotherapy. Optional add-ons include battle scars (temporary!) for authenticity.
6. “Wicked Waves & Warrior Watersports”
A beachfront rental company featuring broom-paddleboarding, trident throwing, and chariot-pulled parasailing over the ocean. Bonus: guests get a personalized pep talk from the gladiators.
7. “Arena of Dreams Dinner Theater”
A nightly spectacle of gladiator combat (staged, of course), magical musical numbers, and Moana’s sea-themed choreography. All served with a themed menu of enchanted cuisine.
8. “The Magic Trident Market”
A magical general store where you can buy enchanted coconuts, spell-infused armor, and eco-friendly witch hats. Every item comes with a sarcastic comment from the Witch and a hearty laugh from the gladiators.
9. “Gladiator Cruises: Fight & Float”
A luxury cruise line that combines the adrenaline of gladiator training with the serenity of ocean voyages. Guests can participate in epic water battles while enjoying spells cast to calm the seas.
10. “Songs, Sorcery, & Shields”
A talent agency representing only the most dramatic performers: Moana’s songs, the Witch’s sorcery, and gladiators showing off their shield-spinning tricks. Perfect for themed parties or over-the-top weddings.
Whether they’re sailing across oceans, soaring through the skies, or battling in an arena, Moana, the Wicked Witch of the West, and the Gladiators prove one thing: The only limit is your imagination—and maybe your insurance policy.
