When I Was Your Age, We Had 0 Influencers—Or Did We? | The Powerful Rise of Influencer Marketing By Cornelius Hawthorne & Nova Lane
Nova: Corny Baby, influencer marketing is absolutely booming right now. Brands are realizing that micro-influencers—people with small but dedicated followings—are the key to reaching niche audiences in a more authentic way. Social media marketing is changing the game. You wouldn’t understand, though. Your generation relied on, what, newspaper ads?
Cornelius: First of all, Nova, I told you—stop calling me Corny Baby. Second, influencers? You mean individuals paid to peddle products under the guise of authenticity? When I was your age, we didn’t need influencers. We thought for ourselves! We made our own decisions. We bought things because we needed them, not because some content creator on the internet told us to.
Nova: Oh really? You never had influencers? No one told you what was cool? What was worth buying? No one told you what products they used, whether they did or not. No one suggested what opinions you should have? You didn’t have newspaper columnists? No network news anchors? No radio personalities? No cable news commentators?
Cornelius: Those were trusted voices—professionals with experience in journalism and media! When they gave their opinions it meant something. It came from a position of authority.
Nova: Why was it a position of authority? Just because they were on television? Oh wait, you mean establishment influencers? People paid to shape public opinion? But sure, tell me again how Walter Cronkite and Oprah Winfrey weren’t influencers.
Cornelius: That’s different! They weren’t taking selfies with products and saying, ‘Use code CRONKITE10 for 15% off your next news update.’ When they gave an issue or, yes a product, their stamp of approval it meant something. They had integrity.
Nova: Cable news? Integrity? Corny Baby, what do you think happens when a major news anchor covers a new product launch or gives a glowing review of a book? It’s influencer marketing—just in a blazer instead of a crop top. They probably didn’t read the book or use the product. They just said it was great. That’s the power of digital marketing in action!
Cornelius: So you’re telling me that some kid doing an unboxing video of the latest overpriced sneaker is on par with a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist?
Nova: I’m saying influence has always existed. The only thing that’s changed is who has it. Before, you had to own a printing press or a TV station. Now, anyone with a phone and a personality can build an audience. And people trust real people more than corporations.
Cornelius: So instead of Walter Cronkite shaping the nation’s views, we now have ‘GamerBoi47’ and ‘SkincareQueen99’ selling us face cream and viral marketing campaigns?
Nova: Exactly! And it works, Corny Baby! It’s why brands keep pouring billions into influencer marketing. You may not like it, but even your generation can’t resist it. I’ve seen you take book recommendations from some grumpy old man on YouTube.
Cornelius: That’s different! He’s well-read, he knows literature!
Nova: Uh-huh. And if a well-dressed TikTok fashionista gives me good style tips, that’s different how
Cornelius: …I refuse to answer that.
Nova: Face it. Influence has always been a thing. Your generation just doesn’t like the fact that it’s no longer reserved for guys in three-piece suits sitting behind news desks.
Cornelius: Fine. But don’t come crying to me when one of these so-called influencers convinces you that drinking charcoal smoothies will make you live forever.
Nova: Oh, that trend was so last year, Corny Baby. We’re onto mushroom lattes now.
Cornelius: I weep for civilization.
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
