We are constantly told to strive for excellence and never settle for less.
So, being a higher-achieving smart alec, I’ve decided to take a different approach.
I’ve embraced the beauty of mediocrity, and I’m here to tell you why settling for 50% is the ultimate life hack. But don’t worry, I’ve got a little secret to make it all go down a bit easier.
Just add a twist of flavor!
We add flavor to everything these days—it’s almost like changing the name without fixing the problem. But hey, now it doesn’t leave as bad a taste in your mouth.
You see, I’ve come to the profound realization that expecting to get 100% of what I ask for is just a recipe for disappointment. Why not aim for 50% as long as they add a lime?
The Secret to Happiness
Let’s be honest. Life is a series of compromises. Why should we expect anything different from those who promise us the world but only deliver half that and then throw in some mango?
Everybody knows exotic disappointment is better than regular. Besides, the mango was delivered right to your doorstep. What more do you want?
Think about it: if I ask for a new car and get a skateboard instead, I’m still getting something with wheels, right?
I mean, they both get you from point A to point B (eventually). And with the skateboard, I get much more of that wind-in-my-hair freedom experience. Starting to taste the mango?
Plus, there’s a certain charm in accepting less. It makes life more exciting.
Will the half-baked solution work this time? Who knows!
It’s like living in a perpetual state of suspense. You know you love a good mystery podcast. Well, now you’re living it!
BONUS!
Will you ever get what you truly want? Tune in next time for another exciting episode. And when it doesn’t work (spoiler alert: it won’t), you get the added joy of defending the genius who thought a skateboard was an appropriate substitute for a car.
Time to suck on that mango!
Suddenly, it’s not just a skateboard, it’s a zesty, refreshing ride! See how much better that sounds?
The Cherry and Vanilla of it All
Pretending to be happy with what you get when it’s not what you wanted is an art form.
Being promised a bonus and getting a certificate of appreciation (which your workplace will happily frame for just $19.95) is just a vanilla shake with a cherry on top.
All that extra work for some unwanted belly fat. Still, there you are, all happy on the outside with smiles and thank yous.
Defending the Indefensible
When you settle for 50%, you also get the delightful task of defending those who shortchanged you.
It’s a masterclass in mental gymnastics!
Yeah, the guy I voted for didn’t do anything he promised, but he did manage to unite everyone in utter disappointment.
Now imagine that disappointment with a hint of passion fruit.
Suddenly, you’ve got tropical flair!
Who can be mad when they’re metaphorically sipping on a passion fruit cocktail? Very quickly you’ll be inventing reasons why the less-than-adequate results are actually a blessing in disguise.
And who knows, you might even start believing it yourself!
Now that passion fruit cocktail is topped with a tangerine and maybe even some guava. You lucky devil.
No Small Roles
In the grand play of life, sometimes it’s better to settle for a smaller role with fewer lines. It’s less pressure, less stress, and hey, you can always take a nap backstage.
So, here’s to settling for 50%—because in a world that promises singing, dancing, laughter and a wonderful love story and then delivers Grease 2 you need to find joy in settling for the scraps from their table as long as they come with cranberry and a twist!