Rumor Has It: Audacious Alliances, Astonishing Allegiances, and Other Words You’re Not Allowed to Say on Camera – Informer Underground #3
Satire Disclaimer
The following is a work of satire intended to parody the modern media landscape and the flood of opinion-based programming that now dominates it. These days, everyone has an opinion—and far too often, people treat agreement as evidence that something must be true.
If you’ve ever nodded along with someone just because they “sounded right,” believe us, we have too.
You’re the audience we’re laughing at—because we’re laughing at ourselves right alongside you.
That’s the point.
Tinfoil Tuesdays never looked so good… except now someone’s stolen the light.
(yes we know it’s Wednesday, there was a scheduling error)
Informer Underground is an unsanctioned, anonymously written gossip column that claims to report on what’s “really” happening behind the scenes at Informer.Digital—though no one knows who writes it, and no one will admit to reading it first.
Rumor of the Week: Lines Are Being Drawn. Or Are They?
Rumor has it, the team at Informer.Digital is splitting into factions.
But here’s the twist: no one can prove it.
Because just like the ring light, the Phase 2 memo, and Tinfoil Tony’s missing tool belt, this rumor lives in whispers, not files.
Sources say there’s a group forming around Frankie, whose 2:17 a.m. broadcast Frankie After Dust has quietly become required viewing for those seeking “alternative clarity.”
The so-called Glow-Ups are allegedly candle-aligned, vibe-sensitive, and suspiciously well-lit.
One rumor says they’ve started signing emails with “peace and dimmer switches.”
Meanwhile, other staff have been seen congregating in Studio A—allegedly referring to themselves as The Studio Loyalists, though some call them “the toner hoarders.”
They’re rumored to control the remaining functioning teleprompter and the last semi-decent coffee filter.
Of course, everyone denies everything.
Which only makes the rumors louder.
Breakroom Whispers Captured by the (Still-Recording) Coffee Machine:
> “Max said ‘loyalty’ three times during lunch. That’s a recruitment tactic if I’ve ever heard one.”
– murmured while unwrapping a plastic fork
> “Aurora keeps referring to ‘energy shifts in the building’ like she’s reading a political astrology chart.”
– overheard near the oat milk
> “I’m not in a faction. I just have opinions, a binder, and selective eye contact.”
– overheard near the microwave, speaker unknown
> “Frankie denied Glow-Up affiliation. While adjusting a candle. In a fog machine.”
– witnessed by someone eating soup in the dark with a tweezer
Other Rumors Circulating This Week:
The Broth Council (the Soup on Trial judges) allegedly sent out an unsigned Post-it note that read: “We know. We vote soon.”
Rumor has it, it was dipped in broth and folded into a paper fortune teller.
Dr. Bexley, Polly’s therapist, was overheard in the lobby saying, “Sometimes group therapy begins with separation.”
Does she mean factions? Or a failed booking system?
Ingrid from HR has updated the seating chart three times this week and was last seen whispering to the laminator.
The rumor? She’s carving out zones—possibly for “factional containment.”
Tinfoil Tony believes the printer jam from Friday was “an inside job meant to obscure the paper trail of betrayal.”
No further details were provided. But rumor has it, he’s printing his own floor map.
Conspiracy Corner: Factions… or False Flags?
Some say the rumor of factions is the real power move.
Spread division.
Distract the team.
Set the stage for a deeper coup.
Others believe Informer Underground itself is being manipulated—co-opted by one of the alleged groups to spread misinformation disguised as chaos.
A new folder appeared on the shared server titled “Phase 3: Echo Chamber Edition.”
No one admits to creating it.
No one dares open it.
The rumor? It deletes itself if you look directly at it.
Final Rumor (for now):
Are there actual factions forming?
Or is someone feeding rumors to keep us all divided, distracted, and too busy side-eyeing each other to notice who’s really pulling the strings?
We’re not naming names.
We’re just saying:
The glow around Frankie’s segment has been upgraded to full spectrum.
And Studio A’s door now requires a passcode.
You didn’t hear it from us.
You didn’t hear it at all.
Tinfoil Tuesday Sign-Off
Until next time…
Trust no one.
Suspect everyone.
And remember:
You don’t need to choose a side when you’re already being watched from all of them.
Mike worked in the radio industry for 35 years which means sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, trash talking characters to remind you laughter is good for the soul! Let’s have some fun with entertainment, movies and TV, sports, budget food and games, lifestyle and we’ll get ridiculous.
